Apr 25, 2018
Please Don’t Repaint Our Rock
In which a silly situation only gets sillier.
So the incident began one cold April night…
I am speaking, of course, about the repainting of the Rock, and the subsequent repainting of the repainting. Confused? So am I. So let’s start from the beginning of this twisted tale.
Sunday night.
The Northwestern Ultimate Team had just concluded its 24-hour guarding of the Rock. According to our cherished customs, it was then our Morty-given right to paint over the Sacred Stone with our own message — an emblem of NUTHOS (NUT and Gung Ho, the Men’s and Women’s Ultimate Teams respectively).
We parted ways amicably, glad to have take part in this beautiful tradition, and the Rock looked damn good. As legend has it, Sara Gnolek sold her soul to the Frisbee Gods themselves for the art skills bestowed upon her — regardless, I walked out proud. Although Frisbee, being the mainstream sport that it is, doesn’t really need any more exposure, I couldn’t help but feel glad that somehow, our driven and passionate community could be well-represented to the Northwestern Community.
And then of course… it all changed.
Monday morning.
I wake, feeling fresh and revitalized for my day with the remaining joy from the evening before. As I walk to class, expecting to relive some wholesome memories, I stop dead in my tracks. My eyes narrow, and I can only think one thing:
Dead ass, what the hell is this?
That’s right. Instead of the beautiful NUT — GungHo insignia, we were given this shit. First of all, just look at the clumsy handwriting and the horrifically drawn eye. Seriously — if you were attempting vandalism, how about an upgrade on those Kindergarten painting skills? Literally, it shouldn’t be this hard to draw a good version of the Illuminati Symbol. It’s a pretty ubiquitous symbol— and I mean… Come. On. At least put some effort here.
But more importantly, I’d like to humbly draw your attention to language: “Illuminati controls you”. First of all, must like your painting skills, I see that you also English at a Kindergarten level as well. Dear ma’am/sir (Gen Eq bitches!), please note the grammatical concept known as the article.
In total honesty, upon finding this atrocity, I may have cursed a little bit. Or a whole lot. Or, perhaps, I may have screamed in horror and revulsion, and disturbed more than a few onlookers, who hurriedly scurried away from the madman that was myself. Who knows?
But, later throughout the day, I angrily chatted up many fellow members of the Ultimate Community about the whole debacle. Here was some of the feedback which I received:
“Not cool, buckaroo!” — 2nd Biggest Dingus
“What’s this bullshit?” — Incensed Female Player and Current Plex Resident
“WHAT HAVE THEY DONE TO MY MASTERPIECE!” — Drunkledore
“Have you read my article?” — Gus Haffner. To which I respond, yes, I have. It was quite good, but obviously since my thing was frisbee-related, my thing matters more.
Tuesday night.
A group of brave and beautiful Ultimate players sneak out in the dead of night, and retake what was rightfully our’s. Perhaps they did not follow tradition, but, at the same time, in a lawless society, rules must be broken.
With a paintbrush in one hand and the hopes and dreams of NUTHOS players in the other, they brazenly rode into battle, splashing blots of paint and passion onto the Rock.
Although in this turbulent world known as Northwestern’s South Campus, no victory remains permanent, the Northwestern Ultimate Community will savor this small win for generations to come.
Analysis.
In all seriousness, I think there’s something important to address here. If this was just your run-of-the-mill group of drunk idiots, then that’s not so bad. However, there is a more nefarious theory which bothers me more...
There’s speculation that the vandalism of the Rock (done on multiple occasions) has been the work of a group known as The Pseudo Knitting Club (link to their credo/beliefs found here). If this is, in fact, true, I find this entire incident to be a whole lot more disturbing.
First off, the group’s entire mission is to create more dialogue between the Frat Communities for reform. If this was their intent, then perhaps vandalizing the Rock anytime someone paints it may not have been the best way to connote friendliness.
At the same time, by openly choosing which messages to erase and which messages to be allowed onto The Rock, I think this whole affair becomes that much more problematic. First off, the group alienates any communities which found their messages censured, as seen by the general annoyance of the entire Northwestern Ultimate Community in general. However, more importantly, the group, in their Letter to the Editor, raised this point:
One IFC fraternity mission statement concludes: “…set the standard of integrity, intellect, and achievement for our members, host institutions, and the communities in which we live.” How are standards set within communities? What measures “integrity, intellect, and achievement” and who determines the standard for anyone but themselves?
At the same time, however, by choosing which messages go upon the Rock, aren’t you yourselves pushing your “standards” upon the rest of the Northwestern Community? Similar to the group of people which you choose to protest, haven’t you ultimately just ended all dialogue by assuming the power to choose which messages are “good enough” to proceed and which aren’t?
Final thoughts.
We need to establish something here — something that I’m sure you’ve all thought while reading just as many times as I’ve considered while writing this piece. It’s just a stupid Rock.
At the end of the day, although I was definitely angry, I wouldn’t say that this has really negatively impacted my life in any way. Upon reflecting back in this ordeal, all I’m going to really remember is that beautiful night of painting the Rock: the pure joy of spending time with the family that has so kindly taken me in, the celebration of achieving much and finding my drive to want so much more, and the general hype for riding into battle once more with my teammates, as both GungHo and NUT take on Regionals.
